Able-Bodied Man Ties Knot with Woman with Disabilities: Shunning Stigma and Discrimination

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Love is what happens when two hearts find their happy place right beside each other. It is when one gives his/ her all to someone despite their physical appearance such as a physical disability which many people think can makes it so difficult to achieving marriage goal.

This is what happened to Sinikiwe Kademaunga, a woman with disabilities who find true love from an able-bodied man as they recently exchanged wedding vows in a white wedding ceremony.

Who is Sinikiwe?
She is now a newly wedded bride and has broken all the doubts that many people got and has proven that a disability cannot undermine one’s aspirations and inspirations in life.

She is now Mrs Sinikiwe Zhiva nee Kademaunga after she tied a knot with her sweetheart Reuben Zhiva who hails from Gokwe at the Talent Village in Mabvuku, Harare last Sunday.

Focused, smart, brainy and determined to scale dizzy heights, Sinikiwe Kademaunga is not allowing any circumstance to stop her from achieve her goals.

So far, she has achieved what only women of substance can achieve.

Born without full limbs and knees, Kademaunga is a is someone who is optimistic.

The ever-smiling Rusape girl always remains at her usual best.

Because she does not have fully developed limbs, the crowd had that zeal to see where her wedding ring was going to be placed after she first put that of his man on the finger.

However, technology is always user-friendly to persons with disability, her ring was designed in a form of a necklace and the husband placed it on her neck.

To some who are not versed about disability issues it was an utter surprise to them to see an able bodied man marrying and tying a knot to a woman with disability, yet we are all human beings with the same boldness and physical needs.

Vowel taking what transpired as the husband and wife publicly confessed their secrets?

The husband has this to say: “Sinikiwe, Sinikiwe I want you to forgive me for my wrong doing. I remember several times when I was proposing love to you, I came to you pretending as if I am deaf and dump and I would speak using sign language. It was not my will but you were proving hard to me and I had to try this tactic to get acceptance. Ever since I started growing when I was around eighteen years of age I tried to date a girl with dwarfism and all was in vain.

“I was always fond of girls with this condition hence my God in heaven managed to answer my prayer and he actually knew that one day you will be my soul mate. Today God has fulfilled my desires and I will not take any advantage of you. I will always love you till death separates us,” Zhiva said.

And, the bride has this to say: “Rueben, Rueben, I want to thank you for showing me what I term as genuine love. I remember you dated me in 2017 and for the past four years I was doing my own research to find out whether you really love me or you wanted to take me for a ride. I learnt that you have that true love for me and you managed to fulfil all the promises that you make including this wedding that we are having today.

“It is through the power of the Almighty God and I pray that we stick to our marriage vows until death robs us,” she said with tears flowing down her cheeks so as the masses who were also touched by her sentiments.

During gift presentation time, the groom’s parents and the brides who were elated, presented household materials such as fridges, stoves, cash among other things.

They even shared the words as a way of cementing the marriage for the newly wedded couple.

Sinikiwe and his husband also took to the dance floor and displayed their mouth-watering dancing skills leaving everyone in sheer amazement.

Rueben always kept an eye contact with her beautiful wife whom she always showed with hugs, kisses, whispering into her ears lifting her up but, not because she cannot walk, Chihera can walk from street to street without any hassles.

How did the people react?
Local artist who is also living with disabilities, Chipochashe Muchegwa said her friend’s wedding has defied all the odds.

“Many people when they see us (people with disabilities) they think we are different to them yet these are myths and misconceptions. I don’t have hands but I have legs which I use to do all household chores. I am married and have a child. We have conjugal rights, desires and wishes like anyone else hence we ought not to be discriminated against. I know people have several questions here just because they do not understand that disability is not inability,” she said.

Chipochashe is a talented artist who plays her guitar using her legs, she was born without arms and she uses her wheelchair for mobility.

Winnet Munyaka who has dwarfism condition said stigma and discrimination is quite rife among people with disabilities and they are often associated with witchcraft, regarded as cursed, beggars and objects that cannot qualify to get married or to marry.

“Like this marriage of my friend Sinikiwe some people right now are busy making side- talks like to say “what’s wrong with this man, what has he lacked yet love is blind and it is the heart that chooses what it desires.

“Biblically, God created all the people using his own image and there is nothing that can differentiate us. Due to stigma and lack of knowledge on disability issues some of our colleagues end up failing to get partners while other marriages fall apart due to family pressures and influence,” she said.

Pastor Zoro Magombedze shunned all forms of stigma and discrimination against people with disabilities saying it socially and culturally unacceptable congers all especially when it is marinated by God’s Love.

“My special word to you parents out there, I urge you not to interfere with your children’s chosen partners especially if one of them has disabilities. Sinikiwe has a form of disability but if given the requisite resources she ends up being able bodied.

“She can cook, do laundry, feed herself and husband and has acquired degrees in the foreign land and came out with distinctions because she got all the support she needed. Now she is a public speaker and confidence coach. So let’s not hide our child because of shame but we have to accept reality and take positive steps to empower them,” she said.

When Greatman, a local artist who lives with disabilities married his able bodied wife there was so much talk in the media, social media and the world at large as some criticized the move with some attacking his wife describing her as a goal getter among other negative comments.

Even from the time that she gave birth some assumed that the child might not be his just because societies have this tendency of diagnosing persons through their naked eyes which can prove them wrong – more so, lack of understanding on disability issues remains a pandemic.

Sinikiwe is a multiple award winner on Confidence Coaching and Public speaking.

It was her second career award after winning the Zimbabwe International Award for her blog in 2017.

Sinikiwe Kademaunga received a Pioneering Woman Leader Award in India recently

“I won a Pioneering Woman Leader award in India. It is my second award, – Pioneering Women,” she said.

“It is on the work I am doing to impact lives; it is heart-warming to get recognition.”

A hobby that turned into passion and provided the basis for a profession, Kademaunga says she never imagined herself being celebrated the way she is.

She did her social work degree from the University of Capetown, South Africa, Kademaunga is planning to spread her arms to help people in a more structured way.

Kademaunga’s story has been a tale whose script can be attributed to the finest of angels.

Her mother and father sadly passed on in 2001 and 2005, respectively.

From then her grandmother took care of her, she attributes her strength to the lady she describes as a superwoman.

“My grandmother is the reason why I dared to dream. She believed in me before I could believe in myself. Although I wish I had gotten to know my parents better, I believe growing up in my grandmother`s care is a blessing,” she said.

An intelligent mind, who requires one to be on their best mental footing when conversing with Sinikiwe inspires whenever she talks.

On many occasions, parents with children living with disabilities reach out to her for help.

She has never been one to pass up an opportunity to assist.

Despite her global acclaim, having been covered by international media, gracing international platforms and having a busy schedule, she still finds to help those in need.

According to her, “no one should suffer from lack of confidence while she is there.”

Her blog, in which she chronicles her life journey as a PWD and how she navigates a demanding public life, is considered an inspiration by many.

Zimbabwe’s President Emmerson Mnangagwa launched the country’s national disability policy on 9 June 2021 in Harare.

The Policy which was developed with support from various stakeholders including the UN, seeks to address the marginalization and discrimination of Persons with Disabilities and empower them to improve their own quality of life and enable them to contribute towards the national development agenda.

It sets standards for the inclusion of Persons with Disabilities in all facets of life, thereby serving as an overarching policy framework on disability across all sectors, including the public, private and development sectors.

President Mnangagwa called for an end to harmful practices, discrimination, marginalisation and exclusion of PWDs from participating in different sectors of the economy, adding that government departments should mainstream disability issues in their programmes.

He called on citizens to stop treating people with disabilities as charitable causes but rather treat them as equals who are capable of productively participating in the building of Zimbabwe.